


If The QueenSlayer Had A Text-To-Speech Device

by BananaChicken22



Category: Code Vein (Video Game), God Eater (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Parody, Sexual Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23813653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaChicken22/pseuds/BananaChicken22
Summary: Some time after the "To Eternity" ending, Cerberus manages to implement a text-to-speech device on the Queenslayer's Blood Throne. Naturally, hilarity ensues.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	1. The Fun Begins

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/614524) by Bruva Alfabusa. 



> This story was inspired by [ this Reddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/codevein/comments/g1n7ii/code_vein_40k/) and Bruva Alfabusa's If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device, [ which you can check out here. ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyiDf91_bTEgnBN0jAvzNbqzrlMGID5WA) I own nothing save for my own ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've been wanting to write something different for quite a while now, and I just happened to come across the perfect post for this while browsing r/codevein (said post is linked in the work preface). After discussing with the author of the post (who is pretty much the co-creator of this project), this is what came out of my brain. So without further ado, sit back, relax, and enjoy...

_Gaol of the Stagnant Blood,_ _207X_

The human engineer looked at his work with satisfaction. "Alright, it's done ! The text-to-speech deviced has been implemented and it seems to be working just fine !" the worker said, turning to his Cerberus supervisor.

"Good !" the Revenant replied, "With that device, the Queenslayer will be able to speak to us, even as he remains on his Blood Throne. I'm so excited, my heart might just burst ! No, calm down, I've restrained myself for years. I won't let anything ruin this moment..." he continued.

"So, uh, about this bottle of Brandy you promised me..." the engineer started, before being silenced by a gesture from his supervisor.

The Cerberus soldier walked up to the Blood Throne where the Queenslayer was resting. This young man sacrificed everything to replace the late Gregorio Silva at the task of keeping the Gaol of the Mist up, separating Vein from the rest of the world with the power from the Queen's relics and his own mind.

"Well, Queenslayer" the Revenant began, looking up to the body of the hero who saved Vein from the Queen, slumbering on his throne, "We have managed to implement a text-to-speech device on your Blood Throne. Please, speak to us !". A electronic garble was the Queenslayer's response, as if he was struggling to use his new device, before going silent. Until...

**"ABOUT FUCKING TIME."** the Queenslayer said, his first words since he put himself on the Blood Throne years prior.

"At last !" The Cerberus soldier rejoiced, "Our hero can speak to us once again !"

**"THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I NEED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT."** the Queenslayer continued, **"FIRST OF ALL, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS DO THIS SOONER ? I MEAN YOU KNEW I WAS STILL CONSCIOUS, SO WHAT STOPPED YOU ? AND WHAT ARE THESE ARAGAMI THAT I KEEP HEARING ABOUT ?"**

"Oh, that's just the name given to the Horrors by the people outside of Vein.", the soldier explained. "We know that because we managed to find some underground passages leading to the outside world. Apparently, they've been struggling with the Aragami for quite a long time out there, and they survived by creating living weapons called God Arcs. These weapons were created by an organization called Fenrir and are wielded by trained hunters known as God Eaters. We came in contact with them not too long ago, and some of the members have come to Vein to study us Revenants. In fact, a Fenrir team has come to visit you !" the soldier cheerfully continued.

**"WHAT THE FUCK ?** **"** the Queenslayer asked.

"Tell the God Eaters they can come in !" the Cerberus soldier ordered, turning to the elevator leading to the Throne Room. From there descended two humans, a man and a woman. The man wielded a jet black one-handed sword while the woman wielded a red scythe. Both wore what appears to be some sort of military uniform with a wolf sigil on the shoulder and a big red bracelet on their arm.

"So, you're the famous Queenslayer everyone's talking about, huh ? I honestly expected you to be more imposing." the man said with a smirk, which made the woman shake her head in exasperation.

"Forgive him, sir, he's not really the most well-mannered person in our branch." she apologized. However, the Queenslayer wasn't paying attention to the two God Eaters' behavior, instead being more fascinated by the weapons the two humans wielded.

**"WHAT IN THE FUCK, THOSE WEAPONS ACTUALLY LOOK PRETTY COOL. I TAKE IT THOSE ARE GOD ARCS ?"** the Queenslayer asked.

"Yup, and that's not all they can do. Watch this !" the man boasted before turning his sword into a giant machine gun. To say the Queenslayer was amazed was an understatement.

**"DID THAT SWORD JUST TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN ? HOLY SHIT. I WANT ONE."** he declared, causing the man to smirk. Apparently, the Queenslayer wasn't the only one to express such amazement.

"Well, Queenslayer" the Cerberus soldier interjected, "I don't know about you, but I got the feeling that this is the beginning of something great !"

**"SHUT YOUR FACE, YOU FUCKING EGGSHELL."** the Queenslayer retorted.

"Yes, sir !" the other Revenant quickly apologized...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes the first chapter. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this and if you did, feel free to leave a kudos. I actually plan to make more of these now that my college semester is almost over. Also feel free to leave feedback and constructive criticism, as I want to become a better writer. See you all next next time :)


	2. Aegis Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queenslayer learns of the events that surrounded the Ark Project. Naturally, he doesn't take it very well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back by popular demand (and because I was bored), here is the second chapter of If the QueenSlayer had a Text-To-Speech Device, in which ya boi the Queenslayer learns of the events of God Eater 1. So, without further ado, sit back, relax, and enjoy...

_Gaol of the Stagnant Blood_

**"YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE I'VE BASICALLY BEEN TURNED INTO A QUADRAPLEGIC AND STUCK ON LIFE SUPPORT TO KEEP YOU GUYS SAFE** ?" the Queenslayer asked his guardian.

"Huh ? Uh...well, let's just say it's been a long time. I actually stopped counting to be honest." the Cerberus soldier responded with an awkward chuckle.

 **"THAT BAD, HUH ? WELL, SHIT. I MUST'VE MISSED QUITE A LOT. FILL ME IN ON WHAT HAPPENED."** the Queenslayer requested.

"I don't really know much of what happened on the outside world since the Great Collapse, sir. Sorry, I only know the bare minimum about the outside world and Fenrir." the other Revenant sheepishly apologized.

 **"REALLY ? THEN WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS ? WERE YOU TOO BUSY JERKING OFF IN SOME CORNER INSTEAD OF, Y'KNOW, LEARNING ABOUT THE OUTSIDE WORLD ?"** the Queenslayer snarked.

 _"Only on Friday nights..."_ the Cerberus soldier muttered under his breath.

 **"WHAT WAS THAT ?"** the Queenslayer asked.

"N-nothing, sir." the other Revenant responded out loud this time, "Fortunately, an event I do know about from reading through the archives of Fenrir is the Ark Project." he continued, hoping that this change of subject would stop the Queenslayer from making further jokes at his expense.

 **"WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING, I GUESS. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED."** the Queenslayer requested.

"Right away, sir !" the Cerberus Soldier happily obliged.

***ONE EXPLANATION LATER***

There was a small pause after the Cerberus soldier was done explaining, until the Queenslayer finally spoke up.

 **"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT."** he started, **"NOT ONLY WAS FUCKING MIDO RIGHT ABOUT THE ARAGAMI EVOLVING, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THERE WAS THIS MOTHERFUCKER FROM THE FAR-EAST BRANCH WHO DECIDED TO ENLIST SOME HUMANS SO THEY COULD FUCK OFF INTO SPACE."**

"Yes." the other Revenant confirmed.

 **"AND AFTER THAT, HE BASICALLY DECIDED TO FINISH WHAT THE GREAT COLLAPSE STARTED AND TRIGGER THE MOTHERFUCKING APOCALYPSE."** the Queenslayer continued.

"Yeah, pretty much." the Cerberus soldier once again confirmed

 **"AND THEN, AS IF THIS WASN'T ALREADY BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE ENOUGH, SOME GOD EATERS WHO CAUGHT ON TO WHAT WAS GOING ON KILLED HIM AFTER HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO AN ARAGAMI, AND THE ONLY REASON HE DIDN'T FUCK THE WORLD MORE THAN IT ALREADY WAS IS BECAUSE SOME ARAGAMI LOLI TOOK OVER HIS CORPSE AND SENT IT TO THE MOON, WHICH IS NOW FULL OF LIFE BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE IT IS."** the Queenslayer finished.

"Well, when you put it like that, you can make anything sound stupid, Sir. And to be fair, Director Schicksal DID help create the God Eater program, so they didn't really suspect him of wanting to trigger the Devouring Apocalypse, and he did have noble intentions in the long run." the other Revenant argued.

 **"IT'S STILL FUCKING STUPID THAT THEY DIDN'T CATCH ON SOONER. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THOSE OTHER FUCKWITS WHO LAUNCHED A TERRORIST ATTACK ON THE FAR-EAST BRANCH AFTERWARDS. DO I EVEN NEED TO ELABORATE ON HOW STUPID THAT WAS ?"** the Queenslayer retorted.

"No, sir." the Cerberus soldier said "And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go do some other errands, as well as study what happened in the outside world. I'll see you later." he finished, before taking his leave.

 **"YES YES, GO DO THAT. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GOING ANYWHERE OR ANYTHING."** the Queenslayer quipped. By the time he finished his sentence, the Cerberus soldier had already left.

 **"THE FUCKING DEVOURING APOCALYPSE. JESUS CHRIST, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT. SIGH, I WISH THAT IO WAS THERE. SHE WOULD MAKE BEING STUCK ON THIS FUCKING THRONE AND LEARNING ABOUT ALL OF THESE STUPID THINGS MORE BEARABLE. I MISS HER SO MUCH."** he then said, talking to no one in particular...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand it's done. Once again, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed making it. 
> 
> As always, comments and reviews are always welcome, and while I was somewhat hesitant at first, I'll definitely be making more chapters of this fic in the foreseeable future, so stay tuned for more.
> 
> So until next time, this was BananaChicken22, peace out !


	3. Of Beads and Levies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queenslayer inquires on the state of Vein since he took his place on the Blood Throne. As it turns out, things are worse than he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I know it's been a while, but here's another chapter. This one is a bit longer than the others, due to me trying to flesh out the situation and characters in the rest of Vein. I hope you'll be able to enjoy it regardless. That being said, let's start this chapter !

_Gaol of the Stagnant Blood_

**"YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT, I NEVER ASKED YOU HOW THINGS WERE HERE IN VEIN, HAVE I ?"** the Queenslayer asked his supervisor.

"Now that you mention it, Sir, no you haven't." the Cerberus soldier replied.

 **"HUH. WELL, GUESS THIS IS GOING TO BE OUR TOPIC FOR THE** **DAY."** said the Queenslayer. **"TELL ME HOW THINGS ARE GOING IN OUR NECK OF THE WOODS. IS IT THE SAME ZOMBIE INFESTED SHITHOLE THAT I WOKE UP IN AFTER OPERATION QUEENSLAYER ?"** he continued.

"Well, if you're talking about the Lost, then yes, they indeed are still a problem. And the supply of Blood Beads is alarmingly low so we still have to instate a levy to supply you and your Throne, but don't worry, Sir ! Our friends at Fenrir are already working on a solution for this problem !" the Cerberus Soldier said cheerfully. "In the meantime, though, we're still gonna have to tax the Revenants as well as ask the humans in the shelter to donate blood, but that shouldn't be a problem ! If there are Revenants that are either unable or unwilling to pay their levy, we give them until next month to pay after , _ahem_ , motivating them. And if despite the motivation, they still don't pay, well, we execute them and all's well that ends well !" he concluded in the same cheerful tone.

A moment passed before the Queenslayer spoke up again.

 **"...I'M SORRY, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ?"** he asked.

"Is something the matter, Sir ?" the other Revenant inquired in a concerned tone.

 **"ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING MY DICK ? MAFIA-STYLE INTIMIDATION ?! SUMMARY EXECUTIONS FOR PEOPLE BEING UNABLE TO PAY THEIR LEVY ?! WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE I SWEAR TO CHRIST I'M SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT !!!"** the Queenslayer exploded, with even his text-to-speech device being unable to hide his rage.

"C-Calm down, Sir !" the Cerberus Soldier pleaded as he started panicking at his charge's sudden outburst of anger. "The levy system is the only way to keep you fed, and we both know it !" he continued.

 **"THAT STILL DOESN'T EXCUSE THE GODDAMN SUMMARY EXECUTIONS. GO SPEAK TO WHATEVER DIPSHIT IS IN CHARGE AND TELL THEM TO STOP THEIR BULLSHIT EFFECTIVE FUCKING IMMEDIATELY. GET GOING, EGG-BOY ! TIME IS OF THE FUCKING ESSENCE, EGG-BOY !"** the Queenslayer ordered.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do, Sir." the other Revenant answered before going out on his way. _"I'm not paid enough for this bullshit..."_ he then muttered lowly enough not to be heard by the Queenslayer.

_Provisional Government Center_

Two Bayonet armed Cerberus soldiers were standing in front of a gate on the upper floors of the building, guarding against any intruder.

"Man, this is boring !" one of them groaned. "I'd much rather be out killing Lost or hunting Aragami alongside the God Eaters back at Fenrir" he complained.

"Well, you know what they say : beggars can't be choosers." his comrade replied. "You just gotta suck it up until the next...wait. Someone's coming !" he notified his fellow guard at the left of the gate, who immediately got in position. Both guards were aiming their weapons at the figure until...

"Hold on ! That uniform...it's one of our guys !" the guard on the left exclaimed, lowering his weapon as he recognized the Queenslayer's supervisor. "Hey, buddy ! How's it going ?" he then asked.

"Hello ! Whew, it sure is nice to be back above ground again !" the Supervisor said in response.

"Hey, I recognize that voice ! You're...Dylan, right ? Or is it Nathan ? Ethan ?" the guard on the left asked the other Revenant.

"My name's Adam." the Supervisor deadpanned. "Anyway, I need to go talk to the Governor about an urgent matter, and I need to do so right now !" he continued.

"Oh, sorry, no can do. The Governor isn't taking any visits right now. He's a very busy man, you see." the guard apologized.

"Busy pouring the contents of leftover Blood Beads collected by the levy into a bathtub and bathing in it ?" Adam snarked.

"What the Governor does in his spare time is none of our business. The point is that we cannot let you see him at the moment, so please come back later." the guard on the right answered.

"Okay, I can see that this is going nowhere. I'm out of here." the Supervisor gave up with a weary sigh before leaving the building. _"I know someone who can help me, anyway."_ he thought.

_Abandoned Church_

A young Revenant man with crimson eyes and black hair was sitting at a wooden desk, reading a book. The man's hair covered his right eye and he wore a black and red waistcoat with white sleeves alongside white pants and black boots. A necklace with a ring completed the outfit. The young man was interrupted in his reading by the sound of someone knocking on the door.

 _"Hm ? I wonder who it could be..."_ the black-haired Revenant thought as he went on to open the door. As he opened up, he was puzzled to see a Cerberus soldier standing at the doorstep.

"A government soldier ? It's not the day of the levy's collection, as far as I know..." the young man asked.

"Oh, no, you're absolutely right. I'm not here to collect the levy. Let me introduce myself, first : my name is Adam, and I need your help, Louis Amamiya. After all, you've helped the Queenslayer in stopping Juzo Mido a few years ago, so I assume it wouldn't be much trouble for you to help me." the Cerberus soldier answered.

"I guess my reputation precedes me. Come on in, I'll at least hear you out." Louis responded with a slight smile.

"Oh, thank you so much, Sir !" Adam rejoiced.

Once they were both inside, Louis gestured at a chair on the other side of his desk. Adam instantly took a seat as the other Revenant sat back down behind his desk.

"Okay, so, what exactly do you need my help for ?" Louis asked the Cerberus soldier.

***ONE EXPLANATION LATER***

"I see..." Louis said. "So, you want me to help you change the laws the Provisional Government made regarding the punishment of Revenants who don't pay levy ?" he then asked.

"Yes, and also reform the way the levy is decided among each group, if that's possible." Adam replied.

"All right, you win. I'm going to help you." Louis declared. "I can't do much myself, but I have a friend who's quite high up in the government. And it just so happens that he owes me a favor. I'll have a little talk with him." he concluded with a smug smile.

"Oh, that would be fantastic ! Thank you, Mr. Amamiya ! I will never forget what you did for me today !" Adam replied happily.

"Don't mention it. And please, call me Louis." the black-haired Revenant insisted, somewhat embarrassed. "But now that I think about it, why would you want to do that ? Wouldn't you profit as well from the laws staying as they are, seeing as you're affiliated with the Provisional Government and all of that ?" he then asked Adam.

"Oh, no, I'm just a simple soldier. I do get some privileges, but they're not really that substantial." the Cerberus soldier answered meekly. "Besides, this whole plan wasn't my idea. It was actually someone else's." he admitted with a small chuckle.

"Is that so ? Whose idea was it, then, if you don't mind me asking ?" Louis inquired. 

"Why, none other than the Queenslayer himself !" Adam answered cheerfully, much to Louis' shock.

"The..The Queenslayer ? You mean Ryutaro ?!" the black-haired Revenant asked. "But that's impossible ! He is..." he began before being interrupted by Adam.

"Stuck on the Blood Throne, I know." the Cerberus soldier completed Louis' sentence. "Long story short is that we managed to give him a text-to-speech device, and now he can speak to us. I've been in charge of telling him what's been going on as of lately." he then explained.

"Well, that would make sense. Sure sounds like something our Ryutaro would want to do..." Louis mused. "Wait, does that mean we can go see him now ?" he then asked.

"Oh, absolutely." Adam answered. "Buuuut the news of the levy laws left him in quite the bad mood, so I'd wait some time before going to visit him if I were you." he advised.

"I figured as much." Louis said with a chuckle. "Ryutaro has always been the kind of guy who was sensitive to injustice. He may have a short temper, but his heart's in the right place." he continued with a smile.

"I have no doubts about it." Adam replied. "Well, then, I should get going. Thank you again for helping me, Louis. If there's anything I can do to pay you back, don't hesitate to tell me." he then finished, getting up from his chair.

"It's all right, really." Louis replied. "You don't need to pay me back." he finished.

"Right. Be seeing you, then." Adam said, leaving the abandoned church. A small moment passed.

 _"Well, that was surely something. Maybe I should go and tell the others about all this later. Now, where was I ? Oh yes, my book"._ Louis thought before opening his book again.

_Gaol of the Stagnant Blood_

**"WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING EGG-BOY SO LONG ?"** the Queenslayer mused. **"HE'S BEEN GONE FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS. IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED HIM TO BUILD A ROCKET OR SOMETHING. I MEAN, FUCK."** he continued. At this very moment, his Supervisor came back.

**"OH, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL."** the Queenslayer said. **"DID YOU DO AS I TOLD YOU ?"** he then asked.

"Yes ! Mission accomplished, Sir !" the other Revenant exclaimed with pride in his voice. "The levy laws should be reformed soon, if everything goes as planned." he finished.

 **"WELL, THAT'S ONE STUPID THING DEALT WITH."** the Queenslayer replied. **"BUT JUDGING BY WHAT YOU TOLD ME, THIS SEEMS TO BE NOTHING BUT THE TIP OF THIS SHIT-COATED ICEBERG. REGARDLESS, YOU'VE DONE A GOOD JOB, EGG-BOY."** he continued.

"Thank you, Sir !" the Cerberus soldier said happily. "Oh, by the way, my name is Adam." he then added.

 **"SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE."** the Queenslayer retorted.

"Y-yes, Sir !" Adam sheepishly apologized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand done ! Now, I have some good news for y'all. Since I just finished my semester of college, I'm gonna have more time to write and I'll be able to upload more frequently, yay ! Also, as you can see, I've started to incorporate more characters (including canon characters) into this work as well as fleshing out the already existing characters (for instance, we now know the Queenslayer's name, which is Ryutaro, and his Supervisor's, which is Adam). As usual, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Once again, comments and reviews are always appreciated, and stay tuned for more.
> 
> Until next time, that was BananaChicken22. Peace out !


	4. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queenslayer reunites with an old friend, and much rejoicing ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again ! I know I haven't posted in a long time, but with my summer job starting again and with some other stuff happening, I didn't have much time to write lately. To make up for it, here's a new chapter which I hope you'll enjoy.

_Gaol of the Stagnant Blood_

**"YOU KNOW, IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT THERE LIKELY IS EVEN MORE STUPID SHIT GOING ON IN VEIN, WHAT YOU DID THE OTHER DAY WITH THE LEVY LAWS IS STILL A GOOD START IN UNFUCKING THE WHOLE SITUATION. YOU'VE DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB THERE, EGG BOY."** Ryutaro praised Adam.

"W-well, thank you, Sir. I'm doing my best." Adam stuttered, taken aback by the Queenslayer's praise.

 **"I GET IT, YOUR SENPAI NOTICED YOU. DON'T START JIZZING YOUR PANTS OVER THIS NOW."** the Throne-bound Revenant retorted, eliciting an annoyed groan from the Cerberus soldier.

"Sir, with all due respect, you can be quite insufferable at times, has anyone ever told you that ?" Adam asked.

 **"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT."** Ryutaro responded, **"BUT MORE SERIOUSLY, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF AND THAT WE WOULD NEED A BETTER APPROACH. HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO CONVINCE THE PEOPLE AT THE GOVERNMENT ?"** he then asked.

"Oh, um...well, to be honest, I actually didn't manage to do it all by myself. I needed a little help." Adam admitted with a sheepish chuckle.

 **"I FIGURED AS MUCH. SIGH. EVEN IF I WAS EXPECTING IT, I STILL ENDED UP SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTED."** the Queenslayer lamented, **"OH WELL, IT'S STILL A STEP TOWARDS FIXING THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE KNOWN AS VEIN."** he concluded.

"Still as foul-mouthed as ever, eh ?" a voice then asked from the end of the hallway, startling both Ryutaro and Adam.

 **"WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT ?"** the former asked, **"WAIT A MINUTE. THAT VOICE, COULD IT BE...?"** the Throne-bound Revenant then pondered. The sight of the dark-haired man before him confirmed his assumptions, but he still had a lingering doubt that he ended up consuming a bad blood bead and was hallucinating.

 **"LOUIS, IS THAT...IS THAT REALLY YOU** **? I'M NOT DREAMING, RIGHT ?"** the Queenslayer asked, if only to be certain. The other Revenant's grin lifted any doubts that he may have had.

"Indeed it is, Ryutaro." Louis responded, "It's been a long time, huh ? Glad to see you again." he then said, his grin turning into a warm smile.

 **"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. SNIFF SNIFF."** Ryutaro replied, **"I** **KNOW I SOUND SARCASTIC, BUT REALLY I'M NOT."** he then reassured his friend, much to the dark-haired Revenant's amusement.

"I figured, don't worry about it." Louis said with a chuckle, "But anyway, it seems that what Adam said was true and that you really did end up getting a text-to-speech device. I'm really happy that I get to talk with you again, old friend." he then continued.

 **"YEAH, THAT'S GREAT AND ALL, BUT WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO TALK ABOUT THAT."** the Queenslayer responded, **"TELL ME, ARE THE OTHERS STILL LIVING AT THE BASE ? HOW HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN DOING LATELY ? COME ON, MAN, I HAVEN'T HEARD OF YOU IN AGES."** he then inquired.

"Oh..." Louis' grin then faded, "Well, let's just say that they've been taking your absence pretty badly. Some of them have...well, saying they've gone insane is perhaps a bit of a hyperbole, but let's just say that they've been more affected than the others and leave it at that." he then concluded.

 **"OH. WELL,** **SHIT."** Ryutaro replied, **"WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE THEY'LL GET BETTER ONCE THEY SEE THAT I'M DOING AT LEAST RELATIVELY OKAY."** he then said.

"I hope you're right, my friend." Louis replied with a sigh.

 **"ANYWAY, YOU SEEM TO BE DOING OKAY. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING LATELY ?"** the Queenslayer then asked.

"Well, for starters, I'm the one who helped Adam reform the Levy system." Louis answered, "I just had to pull a few strings to ensure that your plan would succeed. It was no big deal, really." he continued.

 **"SOMEHOW, I FIGURED THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THAT. YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO NICE TO EVERYONE. A BIT TOO NICE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, IF YOU ASK ME."** Ryutaro replied, **"I TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES THAT SOMEONE IS GONNA END UP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU SOONER OR LATER."** he then said.

"Don't worry about me, I can look after myself." Louis said with a smile, "But thanks for the concern, I really appreciate it." he continued.

 **"ANYTIME, PAL."** the Throne-bound Revenant replied. **"NOW, I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE, BUT I'M STARTING TO GET TIRED, WE'LL TALK MORE ANOTHER TIME, OKAY ?"** he continued.

"It's okay, I understand." Louis responded. "I'll come back another day, then." he finished before taking his leave.

 **"OH, MAKE SURE THE OTHERS COME WITH YOU NEXT TIME, ALRIGHT ?"** Ryutaro said.

"Will do. See you around !" Louis said while heading out. The Queenslayer was then alone with Adam once again.

"You know, I couldn't help but notice that your mood changed quite a lot when that man was speaking to you." the latter then chimed in. "You were notably less grumpy than usual. I'm glad to see that he's being such a good influence on you." he then said.

 **"THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S MY FRIEND, ASSWIPE. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU'LL END UP BEING MY FRIEND TOO, SOMEDAY."** Ryutaro retorted **"UNTIL THEN, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO WHAT I SAY, EGG BOY."** he finished.

"Whatever you say, Sir." Adam replied with a chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is that. Whew, it's good to be back. Now that my work schedule is starting to get in place, I'm pretty sure that I should be able to post a chapter at most once every two weeks if things go as expected. As usual, feel free to comment and leave a Kudos, and stay tuned for the next chapter. 
> 
> So until next time, that was BananaChicken22. Peace out !


	5. The New Age Of Vein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queenslayer learns that Vein's structure is far more different than he had expected. This being the Queenslayer, he is not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, long time no see, huh ? Let's see, it's been *checks the date of the last chapter* Oh shit, I didn't notice I was gone this long. Oh well, sorry about that. Here's a new chapter to make up for it.

_Gaol of the Stagnant Blood_

**"I AM SO FUCKING BORED."**

Ryutaro's words broke the silence that was dominating the Gaol of the Stagnant Blood. The Throne-bound Revenant's complaint prompted his supervisor, Adam, to walk over to him.

"Well, there's not much we can do is there ?" the Cerberus soldier admitted sheepishly. "I suppose I could tell you more about what's been going on lately." he then suggested.

 **"WELL GO AHEAD AND DO THAT, IT'S LITERALLY YOUR GODDAMN JOB."** the Queenslayer retorted.

"R-right. Let's see...what should I tell you about today ?" Adam pondered for a while, "Oh, I know ! Today, I will tell you about the restructuration of the government that happened after your battle with Silva." he then suggested.

 **"CONSIDERING THE LEVY LAWS THEY HAD, I CAN ALREADY TELL THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A COMPLETE SHITSHOW OF INCOMPETENCE AND DISAPPOINTMENT."** Ryutaro snarked. **"TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED."** he then ordered.

"Right, so, it all began after your battle over the Virgin Born. After you absorbed the Relics and stepped on the Blood Throne. Silva was somehow returned to normal. However, despite him returning to his senses, he chose to turn down the offer for a position as the Governor of Vein and went in exile after learning what happened." Adam explained.

 **"WELL WE'RE OFF TO A GOOD START. I KNOW THAT FUCKING MIDO IS THE PRIME REASON WHY VEIN HAS GONE TO SHIT, BUT THE LEVY SYSTEM SILVA IMPLEMENTED DIDN'T EXACTLY HELP EITHER, SO I DON'T REALLY FEEL BAD FOR HIM."** the Queenslayer replied.

"Anyways, after Silva exiled himself, a new Governor was appointed. For a while, not much has changed, until we found a way outside the Gaol of the Mist via the Depths and went into contact with the Aragami, and eventually with Fenrir as well." the Cerberus soldier continued.

 **"AND I ASSUME THAT THE SHITSHOW STARTED THERE, DIDN'T IT ?"** the Throne-bound Revenant asked.

"Well, the levy laws were already in place before we made contact, so not quite." Adam replied. "The point is, after contact with Fenrir was made, the Provisional Government became a more concrete and official power. The Governor founded many institutions, including the three major branches known as the Ministries. These Ministries are known respectively as the Ministry of Defense, the Ministry of Science and the Ministry of Law." he then continued.

 **"GREAT, SO INSTEAD OF ONE FUCK-UP OF AN INSTITUTION TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING, WE HAVE THREE NOW. BECAUSE THREE TIME'S THE CHARM AND IT DEFINITELY WON'T MAKE THINGS GO TO SHIT ANY FURTHER, RIGHT ?"** Ryutaro quipped.

"Well, I can understand why you'd be skeptical towards the Ministry of Law, at the very least. Many of their decisions were...questionable, at best, at least in my opinion." Adam admitted.

 **"HOLY SHIT, EGG-BOY CAN ACTUALLY THINK FOR HIMSELF. I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WAS ACTUALLY POSSIBLE."** the Queenslayer snarked, causing Adam to groan in annoyance.

"Back to my explanation, the Ministry of Law is naturally the institution which votes the laws and edicts that regulate Vein." the Cerberus soldier resumed. "As of the Ministry of Science is...well, there's not much to say about them, really. As the name suggests, they're mostly made up of scientists and engineers. The only thing noteworthy about them aside from the fact that about 60% of their personnel is human is the fact that they gave birth to a splinter group kown as the Clockwork Hand, which is basically a cult that worships pre-Great Collapse technology and artifacts." he continued.

 **"SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT SOME OF THE FOLKS IN OUR SCIENCE TEAM GANGED UP AND DECIDED TO TURN INTO A CULT WHERE THE MEN WOULD TAKE TURNS PUTTING THEIR DICKS INSIDE A TOASTER AS PART OF THEIR RITUALS ? THAT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKING HILARIOUS."** Ryutaro quipped.

"I...don't think that they actually do that, though ?" Adam hesitated "I mean, I don't know what their rites consist of, but I'm pretty sure they don't do things like that. At least I hope they don't." the Cerberus soldier then said, shuddering a bit from the mental image.

Five seconds passed until Ryutaro spoke again.

 **"YOUR INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND JOKES IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING ABOUT YOU."** the Queenslayer complained.

"Right. Moving on, last but not least is the Ministry of Defense. Now, this one you might find more interesting than the other two, Sir." Adam responded.

 **"REALLY ? HOW SO ?"** the throne-bound Revenant inquired.

"Well, when the Ministry of Defense was founded, Cerberus came under their jurisdiction immediately afterwards. And following that, Cerberus expanded from a single unit of elite soldiers to Vein's official armed forces which would operate in conjunction with Fenrir to take down the Aragami." the Cerberus soldier explained. "Thus, Cerberus forces were divided into several Squads, each with their own fighting style and customized armor designed. For instance, the members of the most versatile and abundantly seen Squad, the Argent Wolves, wear the default white armor you are familiar with." he then continued.

 **"WOW, THAT IS ACTUALLY VERY INTERESTING. PLEASE TELL ME MORE."** Ryutaro resquested.

"Right away, Sir." Adam replied. The Cerberus soldier then made his way to a post with a little rope situated a few meters in front of the Queenslayer. He yanked on the rope, unrolling a big projector screen. Light then emerged from a small hole on the front of the Blood Throne, projecting the image of a Revenant clad in a black and gold variant of the Cerberus armor sans cape and with spikes on the forearms.

"This is the armor of the Black Dogs, Cerberus' expert swordsmen and swordswomen. They're usually seen on the frontlines alongside Argent Wolves and members of the next Squad, which I will show you in a few moments" Adam explained.

 **"HUH, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CAME OUT OF THE COVER FOR A HEAVY METAL ALBUM."** the Queenslayer remarked. **"BY THE WAY, IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO INSTALL A PROJECTOR ON THE BLOOD THRONE. IT MAKES EXPOSITION SO MUCH EASIER."** he then commented.

"Thank you for the praise, Sir." Adam replied. "But back to the topic at hand, the Squad leaders have a hand in the armor design for their Squads. And since the Black Dogs are lead by Jack Rutherford, he's the one who designed some partsof their armors." he continued.

 **"SO THAT EDGELORD IS STILL OUT THERE FIGHTING ?"** Ryutaro asked. **"HUH, I FIGURED HE'D JUST HOLE HIMSELF UP IN A CORNER TO WRITE SOME EMO POETRY OR SOME SHIT."** he then snarked.

"Oh, right, I forgot that you knew some of the Squad Leaders." Adam realized. "Well, that would simplify some of my explanation, then." he continued as the projector showed a new image.

The image displayed two Revenants in different armor types. On the right was a soldier clad in a red and black armor, once again lacking a cape, with chains dangling from the forearms. On the left was a more nimble revenant, lacking the traditional bulky armor of Cerberus soldiers. in its place, the Revenant wore a hooded cloak along with a half-face purifier mask and a pair of gauntlets along with what seemed to be light armor.

"The one on the right is a Blood Crusher, Cerberus' Heavy Weapons specialists. These soldiers are usually called whenever brute force is needed on the battlefield." Adam explained. "On the left, you can see a member of Artemis' Children, who are expert gunners. This Squad is known for using guerilla tactics against enemies and are usually deployed during stealth missions." he continued.

 **"THEY ACTUALLY DON'T LOOK AS BAD AS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD. IF ANYTHING, THEY LOOK PRETTY COOL.** **"** the Queenslayer admitted.

"Well, I'm sure their Squad Leaders would appreciate the compliments. Doubly so, given that they apparently know you." the Cerberus soldier stated.

 **"WAIT, THEY DO ? WHO WOULD THEY BE ?"** the Throne-bound Revenant asked.

"The Blood Crushers are led by Yakumo Shinonome while Artemis' Children are led by Mia Karnstein." Adam answered.

 **"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS. IF I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE HIGH-RANKING IN THE MILITARY, UNFUCKING VEIN WILL BE MUCH EASIER."** Ryutaro rejoiced. **"ALL I NEED TO DO IS TALK TO THEM SO THAT THEY CAN SEE I'M ALIVE AND RELATIVELY WELL AND FINALLY GET OVER THEIR MOURNING THAT LOUIS TALKED ABOUT. SPEAKING OF, DID HE GET A SQUAD AS WELL OR NOT ?"** he then asked.

"Well, he was offered one, but he declined, at least that's what I heard." Adam answered. "Now then, there is one other bad thing I need to tell you about today. There is unfortunately a bit of a downside to this expansion of Cerberus." he then said, a hint of shame in his voice.

 **"AND THERE IT IS, THE BIG DISAPPOINTMENT THAT WILL SHIT ON EVERYTHING ELSE. TELL ME NOW, SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH."** the Queenslayer snarked.

"Well, there is one Squad that...went rogue." Adam replied hesitantly. "They go by the name of Gespenst Ketzer, and they are led by a mysterious Revenant known only by the alias of Blutgang." He then continued.

 **"AND LET ME GUESS, YOU FUCKWITS ARE UNABLE TO CATCH THEM, RIGHT ?"** Ryutaro asked.

"No, unfortunately, nor have we been able to locate their hideout. They simply come out, wreak havoc wherever they strike and disappear as quicly as they came, almost like ghosts." Adam admitted.

 **"BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE THEY DO. OTHERWISE IT WOULD ONLY BE AS HALF AS FUNNY, AM I RIGHT ?"** the Queenslayer snarked.

"It's not funny, though." the Cerberus soldier replied, not understanding the Throne-bound Revenant's irony. "Anyway, do you want me to talk about the other noteworthy Squads composing cerberus, Sir ?" he then asked, wanting to change the subject.

 **"NO, I AM TOO FUCKING DEPRESSED THINKING ABOUT THE PARAGON OF SHEER FUCKING INEPTITUDE THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE BECOME IF YOU GOT BEAT BY A BUNCH OF SOLDIERS TURNED BANDITS."** The Queenslayer replied. **"WE CAN CONTINUE TOMORROW INSTEAD."** he then finished as he shut down the projector.

"As you wish, Sir." Adam replied before rolling the projection screen back up. The Cerberus soldier then left the room to go stand guard at the Gaol of the Stagnant Blood's entrance, leaving Ryutaro alone.

 **"SO, THE REFORMS AREN'T AS BAD AS WHAT THE GOVERNMENT WAS DOING BACK WHEN SILVA WAS THE ONE STUCK ON THIS BLOOD-SUCKING PIMP COUCH, BUT THERE'S STILL SOME BAD STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF. OH WELL, I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT ONE STEP AT A TIME."** the Throne-bound Revenant then said to no one in particular...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand like that, the chapter is over. Once again, sorry I was gone this long. The thing is, I'm actually working on several other projects, one of which I will develop in tandem with this fic. It's going to be a more serious take on a God Eater x Code Vein crossover, this time based on the "Dwellers In The Dark" ending I will reuse some of the concepts I introduce in this fic, albeit slightly tweaked to fit the ending and be more serious than here. Conversely, some of the concepts I will introduce in that other project will also be found in a more comedic light here. As usual, feel free to leave a kudos and a comment, and I'll see you next time.


End file.
